Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he shaved USA in his pubs
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I licked your asshole in confidence.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
