At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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