I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
