just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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