Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
