He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
