garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
look no pants
What a fucking waste of an outfit
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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