Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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