he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
