btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
