honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
