Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
