It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
