Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
