so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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