He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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