Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
