4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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