Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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