Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
