Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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