I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
