its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
