do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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