He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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