He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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