with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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