you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
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