He disabled his match.com account in front of me
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
