Can Purell be used as lube?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize