I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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