i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
