I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
