have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
