She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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