I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
