I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
