STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
