Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
