im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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