i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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