sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
