And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
