Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
