Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Houston, we have a blender
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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