I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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