Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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