i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
