Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize