There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
