i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
