So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
