Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
