Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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