Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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