I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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