My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize