So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I can't put those talents on a resume
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