I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
