You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
