I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
