Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
