Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i think i have herpe
just one?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
