Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
