I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Your penis caused this!
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