i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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