after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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