It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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