Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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