Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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