its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
